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It’s Monday again and work is super busy. I am excited for the changes that are coming. Decisions have been made and changes are eminent.

I connected with a very dear friend via telephone yesterday. We have been good friends for almost 9 years and don’t talk as often since she lives out east and we are both so busy. When we do talk on the phone it’s like we have never been apart. We have a deep connection that is unconditional. While talking with her I decided that I need to get back to journaling. I plan to write a memoir one day and realize that I need to document my life and all all its craziness. I am excited about this.

Today is the 7 year anniversary of my dear mothers death. My love for her knows no time or bounds. I miss her dearly and can’t wait to see her again.

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-28 04:38:00

Finally I have time to write a little something.

My disappointment at not making the top 15 is not going to railroad all my efforts until now. I have worked extremely hard to get to this point and I am going to continue on this amazing journey.

The Amazing Race happened yesterday and my team were awesome. We didn’t get to all the businesses but we visited a whole lot of businesses that I had never been to before and that was awesome

My friend Freda Lombard owns Zealousart and it was great to stop by her business today for the first time

One of my favourite stops was Zealousart

One of my favourite stops was Zealousart

One of my favourite quotes is “girls compete with each other but women build each other up” It’s so true. I am disappointed that I didn’t make the top 15 but I am happy for those who did. I will be participating in the wildcard challenge so watch out world, I am going into this with a no can lose attitude

Love always

 

Created on 2017-02-26 16:01:21

My total weight loss for the six weeks was 10 pounds and some inches. I am super proud of this fact because of the slump I was in. My biggest fear was that I would not get out of it again and get back on track. You see, my journey started in 2011 and after overcoming some personal disappointments and a loss, I joined weight watchers and lost about 50 pounds. My starting weight at that time was 237 pounds and I had never been that heavy in my life. It affected my life in every way. Then in 2013 I changed jobs which didn’t work out. I was let go after 3 months and was not successful. I was totally devastated by this and  went into a very bad slump. My self confidence took a nose dive, I started eating everything I could get my hands on and have not been able to take control of my life until now.

This challenge is the wake up call that I needed but in the back of my mind I still had this fear that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I always do that. I have these super high expectations of myself but at the same time I doubt it hat I can do it. So weird, that is why I am super proud of myself.

So we have come to the end of segment one. Saturday is our amazing race and then we find out who goes through.

I want to thank all my supporters for the love. I don’t know if anyone is actually reading this blog but if you are, thank you. I appreciate all the love and support.

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-23 14:47:16

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Sitting here in the dark this morning, thinking about my journey, I am filled with conflicting emotions. We are almost at the end of the first segment and it is exciting and sad at the same time. Exciting to see who will go through to the next segment and sad because 15 of us will be very disappointed with the outcome.

When I entered this challenge I was not even thinking about winning. All I thought of was the Amazing opportunity and hoping that I would learn a few things along the way. I never thought about the end, only the in between. I want to go through to the next segment, we all do. No one wants to be eliminated or left behind. It’s human nature to want to succeed and be part of something. The love and support I have received along the way has been phenomenal and I am so grateful for that. And for making new friends.

I have realised since he Real Me seminar that I am not doing what makes me happy as far as work goes. While I don’t mind what I do, it’s not what I want to do or am meant to do. Changes will be coming and it excites me to think that I am growing and evolving into this beautiful butterfly

To end I would like to quote my forever favourite band

“It’s my life, it’s now or never, I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to LIVE while I’m alive”

Love always

Created on 2017-02-21 15:07:33

Busy, busy busy is what the last week has been. Feels like I am on a speeding train and I have to try and get off while it’s moving!

The Real Me seminar was one of the most amazing events I have ever attended. I went into it with an open heart and mind hoping that I would benefit from it in some way and I was not disappointed. My a-ha moment came on Wednesday, not very long after we started and it was extremely emotional for me. At that moment my mission statement came to me; since part of the seminar was to establish a mission for my life. Why am I here? What is my purpose? This question has puzzled me for many years of my life and I finally found the clarity I was looking for.

My mission is to bring light and love into the life of very person I meet and to inspire and encourage them to be HAPPY! 

I am forever grateful for the opportunity of attending this seminar and encourage every person to attend this if you ever have the opportunity. Thank you to Trish and Jenny and all the other speakers who boldly stood up in front of a crowd of almost 60 people and shared their stories and encouragement.

I am humbled by the courage of all the women who attended this course. Stay strong ladies, you are all awesome!

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-20 16:42:47

At the meeting on Wednesday evening I was looking around the room at all the beautiful women and thinking how hard it’s going to be to eliminate 15 of theses lovely ladies from each city. We have all worked so hard these past few weeks, had many emotional ups and downs and got to know and support each other. But that’s the nature of the contest.

I have decided that I am okay with whatever the outcome is. We all want to go through to the next segment but we can’t and whatever the judges decide, I am okay with that. I know I have worked hard and put everything into this and I am happy for those who make it through. My goal for this challenge was to learn and establish habits that I will keep, no matter the results. I want to stay on this path and continue my journey of health and fitness because I am worth it. I am worth it. I deserve to be healthy and happy.

Tonight is the second segment of the Real Me seminar and I am excited to see what it holds.

Always be true to yourself loved ones.

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-17 15:14:13

WOW, just wow! The first segment of the Real Me Seminar was last night and what an emotional evening for me! Those who know me know that I am emotional regardless, but this was productive emotion in that the digging into me and why I am the way I am was necessary. I quote Trish Warren “there are no accidents in life, everything happens for a reason and you are all here for a reason”

“Here” meaning life as well as this challenge and believe me, it feels like everything I have done has led me to this moment. I am definitely in this challenge for a reason; It was no accident. Whether I go through to the next round or not is irrelevant right now. The most important thing for me is to focus on ME and being honest with myself about what is holding me back in order to be the best version of myself that I can be.

There was an ‘a-ha’ moment for me last night and Trish said that there might be for some if not all of us. I did not feel okay to share because I was super emotional and just wouldn’t have been able to keep it together in front of everyone. I am super grateful for the opportunity and just want to thank everyone involved. See you all on Friday evening for the next segment.

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-16 17:23:21

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone. I am super proud of the fact that I did NOT indulge in all the goodies at work today. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. Not once did I feel deprived or left out because I was not eating cupcakes, chocolate and candy! Way to go me!

So our challenge for this week has been to increase our fibre and this has been the hardest of all the challenges. But I figured I do what I can and just make good choices and I am sure it will all be fine.

I am super excited for the Real Me seminar which starts tomorrow night. I am ready to dig deep and uncover the things that are holding me back. I expect there will be many tears and I am going prepared with a box of Kleenex. I will report back here again after tomorrow evening.

Sweet dreams peepsicles

love always,

Created on 2017-02-15 06:01:00

Crafting makes me happy. I love creating things out of nothing. It’s a great sense of accomplishment for me and I finally have a space to do my crafting in. A spare bedroom has now turned into a crafting room. I carried all my goodies up this morning and set it all up. Now I don’t have to stress about using the dining room table and having to pack up everything. I can just leave everything as it is and close the door until next time.

I have decided to make a small gift for each of the participants of the challenge. I enjoy doing it and sharing with others and this makes me happy and And all I want is to be happy.

I see my grandson today and I am so excited. Happy Sunday.

love always,

Created on 2017-02-12 19:06:07

Oh wow, super emotional and moody day. Severe mood swings that scare me. I need to see my naturopath and get some hormone balancing stuff into this awesome body of mine.

Still eating well and getting my workouts in. I feel bloated and heavy though. Just ugh.

Well, as I always tell my husband and wonderful children, this too shall pass……

sweet dreams,

love always

Created on 2017-02-10 04:32:24

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I keep thinking about the numbers. The numbers on the scale, the numbers of the pledges I have collected, the number of times I have visited the gym, the number of calories I have eaten in a day, the number of calories I burn at the gym, the number of minutes I have worked out, the number of steps i have taken in a day, the number of times I have pooped. Life and this challenge is a numbers game and I can caught up in the numbers and forget about the journey. I am trying to enjoy the moments that make up the journey and appreciate all that I have learnt.

Over the weekend I made a slide show on my iPad about my journey so far and I was pretty impressed with it. Just thinking about all the things I CAN do and all the things I have learnt, was a great way to not get too caught up in the numbers and I was reminded of how fortunate and grateful I am for all of this……..

It is so awesome to see all the ladies learning and exploring and challenging themselves and each other. The friendships that have come out of this are inspiring.

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-09 19:42:53

Edited on 2017-02-09 19:43:20

05kh-adjectives-wall-decallove yourself unconditionally, always  

Created on 2017-02-07 11:48:16

With all the snow ❄️ that came down in Langley, it was a quiet weekend at home. Sundays are my visit days with my grandson but i did not go because of the treacherous road conditions. Next weekend the weather is supposed to be awesome so then i will go for another visit.

This is my first weekend in many months, maybe even years, that i have had zero alcohol. My wine drinking became a habit that just happened every weekend, whether we were alone or not, i just drank wine every weekend. And by wine i mean a bottle on Friday night, one on Saturday and another one on Sunday. I love wine but it became a habit. I didn’t know if i could enjoy a weekend without wine, but i can.

Wine gave me the munchies too and i would end up stuffing unnecessary food (always something covered in cheese) in my face. This went on for a long time but i am immensely proud of the fact that i am able to enjoy a sober weekend. I am excited about the day that i can open a bottle of wine and enjoy one glass without feeling like i have to finish the entire bottle.

Go Fund Me is going great and i am so thankful for the support i have received ❤❤

Love always,

 

Created on 2017-02-07 11:46:10

Wow, we haven’t had this much snow if forever. Yesterday was a particularly challenging day. I was cold and not in a happy place and then proceeded to lock the keys in the car at work. I was using my husband’s truck and the doors automatically lock after a few seconds and i completely forgot about that little fact so i proceeded to shut the door while scraping the snow off the car. Well i was very annoyed with the whole situation.

After getting home i tripped on the stairs and hurt my knee. I was alone so i screamed my frustration at the top of my lungs and cried and decided i was not going to jump on the treadmill but then changed my mind. I did 40 minutes and am super proud of the fact that i changed it around and still did a workout. Previously that was all i needed to just not do it. Any excuse to not work out.

There is another thing that i realised over the weekend. There are potato chips in the house (for my husband’s nightly treats) and not once have i had a bag or even felt like having a bag of chips. The mental change in me is something that i am super proud of. In my other life there were so many reasons to not work out and feed my feelings with food. This time around things are different and i am loving this me. Totally and unconditionally.

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-07 11:43:54

Reaching out to people and asking for help has been tough but not un-do-able! I talked with 5 businesses yesterday about the AR and left the paperwork with them. I am optimistic that positive results will come from at least 25% of them. It was awesome talking about the challenge and explaining to them why I am participating. Everyone is very impressed with it and none of them had ever heard of the TMC. I was happy to introduce them to it!

After starting a Go Fund Me page and sharing it on Facebook, my one friend tried to make a donation but was having issues doing it from the iPad and so I told her to just send me an etransfer and I would add her to my list. The transfer email came through and when I clicked on it to deposit into my account, the question was You Are? and the answer was Beautiful! Oh my gosh, bawled my eyes out for like 5 minutes and then realized that I am beautiful, and I am loved by so many and that I have much gratitude for this and for a wonderful life!

Let it SNOW, let it SNOW, let it SNOW! Holy white stuff coming out of the sky! Won’t be able to go to She’s Fit but I am going to my regular gym this morning.

Enjoy your Saturday and stay safe out there!

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-04 12:22:11

So last night I blogged and saved a copy and then tried to post but it wouldn’t. Tried a few times and it still wouldn’t. Thought I would try again this morning and it still won’t post so clearly the Universe is sending me a message about that blog!

Anyhoo, the jist of my blog last night was gratitude and the fact that I have not had a single drop of wine since the challenge started and how proud I was of that fact!!

Love always,

Created on 2017-02-04 12:12:16

What a blessing it is to have family and friends. I went to see my grandson last night and the love in my soul for that little guy knows no bounds.

My daughter in law cooked dinner for us and it was so awesome eating food that I didn’t cook. She was concerned about my “diet” but I told her that I am not on a diet but on a journey. Life is about balance and I always try and apply the 80/20 rule. Dinner was great and I left feeling satisfied and treated.

This weekend will be a time for chores, meal prep, maybe a little couch surfing, some exercise and being out and about connecting with the local community about the Amazing Race.

Love always ❤

Created on 2017-02-03 10:17:00

At last night’s meeting I realized a few things.

First of all, we are an amazing group of women who have endured all kinds of challenges in our lives and we are all on this journey to change our lives and better ourselves. Talking with one of my fellow challengers I realized that I have much to be thankful for. My life is good and I am surrounded by love and support.

We had a field trip evening and it was great fun. First visiting Nature’s Fare Market where the lovely Kathleen took us on a tour of the store and we tasted all kinds of goodies on our walk. The store is great and I have shopped there before but after hearing what Kathleen had to say about the number of pesticides on one single apple, I will make sure that I only shop and eat organic from now on. The list of poisons that are put onto our food is horrifying to say the least.

Next we visited Shoppers Drug Mart in Walnut Grove where Britney from Benefit Cosmetics gave us a demo on eyebrows which was great. I never pictured myself much of an eyebrow girl but after seeing the demo on the products I will definitely give it a try. I have never used much make up simply because I never learnt how to apply it. I would rather be without it than look silly so I always just stuck to the basics. I am excited to visit Shoppers again and get some help on the correct cosmetics to use for my skin type and age. I want to start putting more effort into my appearance.

I also had my coaching session with Heather and it was amazing. She is just wonderful and so encouraging and intuitive. I took much from the conversation with her and I am excited about me. I am okay and I am normal and I am awesome and I will start thinking like the woman I want to be. Life is too short to be anything but happy!

Created on 2017-02-02 19:59:56

So that didn’t quite go as planned. Second time I have written a blog entry using my iPad and when I hit submit, it’s just gone. So I have decided to only blog from the desktop from now on.

These last few days have been a challenge as far as my mood is concerned. There seems to be some hormone situation going on that i have no control over. One moment i am happy and singing along to the radio and the next moment i am bawling my eyes out because of something silly or small. Our field trip tonight includes a visit to Nature’s Fare Market and i am excited about that because i think i need to be taking some supplements. Female issues are never much fun and i am approaching that time in my life where my body and hormones are changing and i know that there is help out there in the form of supplements. While i enjoy the emotions, crying while watching Forrest Gump on the treadmill at She’s Fit gym is probably a sign that i need to take control of things.

Our other field trip tonight is to Shoppers Drug Mart and that is cause for excitement too since I would appreciate some help on the skincare and makeup front too. So many wonderful sponsors on this journey. I plan to visit a few on the weekend to take care of some personal grooming that needs a little help.

My diet is going great. I have not felt the need to have any junk and i am assuming it’s because i am eating the correct balance of nutrients, although last night i did crave onion rings and had 3 small ones. They were sooooo good and i am happy that i indulged.

Well the weather has turned cold again but it makes for beautiful sunny days!

Created on 2017-02-01 09:37:19

After an emotional day yesterday I am proud of the fact that I didn’t binge on junk to try and make myself feel better. Instead I embraced the emotions and let them come and although I had puffy eyes from bawling almost all day, I feel empowered that I was able to make a conscious choice to not feed my emotions with food.

I feel like I might be getting this cold that’s going around which sucks because I really don’t want to get sick. Taking care of myself physically and emotionally is the key to staying healthy ❤❤❤

I find myself reading social media posts from other challengers about being overwhelmed and stressed because of everything that is going on. This journey should be fun and challenging and exciting and I think that this is a time to learn new coping skills and ways to power through the tough days. I am sending my fellow challengers much ❤

Created on 2017-01-30 22:24:34

So much stuff to blog about but how much of it is appropriate for this platform?

Being awesome is hard work. Having a full time job, a family, a life AND being awesome is a huge undertaking. You might ask how I can so blatantly and without shame say that I am awesome. Well I am. I am a good person who always has consideration, kindness and respect for others. I am a good wife (although very menopausal my husband would remind me) who makes every effort to be the best version of myself I can be for my partner. I have always tried to be a good mother, despite having limitations but have always taught my children to love and accept others and to treat everyone with kindness. I have always encouraged them to do what makes them happy. Happiness to me is number one and I have made sure my children know how important it is to be happy and to follow a life of happiness.

this challenge has been challenging to say the least but the good kind of challenging in that it has taught me many new things and it gets me to do things that I wouldn’t normally have done before. It has been taking up a lot of my time and I have definitely had to learn time management skills. I have had to change my eating and exercise habits and feel fantastic because of this. I have had to get out of that little comfort zone I crawled into and do things I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy doing were it not for this challenge. But life is about learning and growing and experiencing as many amazing things as possible and that is why I signed up for this challenge. I needed the changes that I have implemented and I am loving every minute of it. Even the hard and emotional parts. The parts where I feel like giving up because deep down I know I will never give up and I have the support of so many wonderful people who always encourage me to keep going. Thank you to all of you for your love and support ❤❤❤

Created on 2017-01-29 12:17:39

Thursday January 26, 2017

It’s been almost two weeks since the TMC meet and greet in Abbotsford and what an emotional rollercoaster it has been!

Gratitude for having been chosen as a challenger, fear and anxiety, happiness and confusion. Believe me i have felt just about every emotion out there but I keep coming back to GRATITUDE. For the Shape Your World Society to put on this wonderful event, for the Sponsors, who have been absolutely AMAZING! For the support and friendship from my fellow challengers and all the staff and volunteers involved in this wonderful event, and last but not least, the love and support from my husband, family and friends. I so appreciate it all.

My fear and anxiety for and of the scale is very real. Its that dread that takes shape with the thought of having to get on it again, knowing I could have gained from the last time I stepped on that dreadful thing. It’s always there but it’s so unfounded because I am doing all the right things and should have more faith in the process and in myself and my body. I am also realizing that the scale is just one component of a bigger picture and there is so much more to me than just that number.

I always do this weird thing where I have these super high expectations of myself but at the same time, I doubt that I can do it. It’s like that with everything I have tried over the years. Its stupid and heartbreaking because I am my own worst enemy but I am realizing that now. I have to cut myself some slack and love myself more. I wouldn’t give anyone else in my life as much of a hard time as I give myself.

This challenge is very new and yet I have learnt so much these past two weeks.

For one I have learnt that I CAN get up at 5:45 in the morning to be at the gym by 6:00 AM. I CAN eat healthy and good and be full and satisfied and that the pizza shops are not all going to close down today so I don’t have to scoff a whole pizza in one sitting! I have learnt that moderation in everything is important to being successful. I have learnt that loving myself is the key to being successful in anything and everything I do.

Created on 2017-01-28 19:25:54